as we begin the last month of the year, it’s hard to not reflect on the previous eleven months and all that they’ve brought.

I have been on a real streamlined mission to be a better person. to learn more about myself, my thoughts, my worries, my brain, my actions, my body and my life here on earth. it’s been a real whirlwind of a year, some moments feel like they lasted forever, while others feel as if they didn’t even exist, as if I dreamt about them, not lived though them to talk about it on a blog with the name of two of my three-member zoo, one of which just knocked over my full can of cherry lime la croix. I’ll let you guess which asshole is the guilty party.

I won’t bore you with a ton of details about my life, cause honestly, this isn’t intended to be some reality-blog, with me exaggerating my highs and lows, but you’re damn right I’m gonna spit out some gut-punching words and phrases that sum up my drama, and lack thereof in a less obvious way.

• all of mother nature’s creatures are designed to fully flourish before they drop dead. you, just like all living things, are meant to take up space on this planet. shrinking back and denying the things that bring you great joy, you living your fullest joy, making big money or finding real happiness or success does not take anything away from anyone else. why deny yourself? read that again. and again if you have to.

• tie your happiness to personal goals, not people. fill yourself up first, then let that spill over into others. stop doubting yourself, and selling yourself short. don’t listen to the world trying to convince you that you need someone, or something, or X amount of money, or X kind of car to make you happy. you have everything you need right inside you. be relentless in your pursuit of finding it.

• I’ve said this before but it’s worth repeating again: the longest relationship you will EVER have is the one with yourself.  invest in it. have fun with it. take care of it. if you find faults in it, which you will, take the chance to correct it. learn how to be open to change. teach yourself that growth will hurt, it will be almost unbearable at times, but the end result will be worth it, one thousand times over.

• the outside world is going to throw constant shade at you. it’s going to try to convince you that you’re behind schedule, or that your life doesn’t look like other lives, and therefore it’s not a success. please don’t fall for that bullshit. absolutely nothing is wrong with you, where your life is at in this current moment, or where it’s headed.

• this one isn’t mine – it’s a direct excerpt from Jen Sincero: “hesitation is that crack that all of your favorite excuses will burst through; drown out your resolve and sweep you back to the safety of your comfort zone.” what does it mean to me? stop playing little. when you think something, feel something, find a need for something, DO NOT HESITATE. if you’re in the middle of this right now in your life, you know what I mean cause your stomach just hatched a million little butterflies.

• the universe has enough of everything to go around. money, success, happiness, love, passion, intelligence, you name it, it’s there for the taking. but the universe needs details to respond to what it is you want. It’s just like ordering a sandwich. You don’t just say I want a sandwich, you choose the bread and toppings and get exactly what you want. the universe works the same. write down what it is you desire RIGHT NOW, nothing is too little or too big, and be as fucking detailed as you can. imagine it’s yours, feel the feelings you will have once it’s yours – the happiness, the gratitude, the energy. feels amazing, right? now do the fucking work you’ve been putting off to get what it is the universe is waiting to deliver to you. do you think you will just magically get $100k? no. the universe is awesome but not fucking magic. YOU have to put in the work to make your life what you want it to be – so stop fucking around.

and lastly, I’m going to leave you with my personal favorite, the lesson and words that hit home the most to me this year:

• most people think that if something comes easy for them, it also comes easy for everyone else. DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS VOICE. these things are your talents and gifts. your job is to share these things with the world like your life depended on it. do this and watch what happens.

if you could reflect on the last year of your life, what comes to mind first for you? what did you learn, or live through that has changed you for the better? curious minds want to know.

as always, thanks for coming to my ted talk (more like soap box, but ted talk is way cooler). 2019, I can’t fucking wait to see your face.